Its 5.30am, my usual daily ritual of listening to the babbling of the surprisingly enjoyable and particularly articulate Vanessa Feltz whilst making the short and sometimes eerie bike to work , is having to be terminated due to the energizing and fanatical food related thoughts that are being inputted to my brain.
Although R thinks being able to arise so early is one of my special talents ( of which i have many ), I simply feel that whilst i may be able to haul my heavily pyjama clad behind out of the well plumped and padded perfectly tempered bed, my inapt brain stays comfortably nestled on the pillows that within half an hour of my alarm startling me, just positioned perfectly ( bottom one slightly above the top one - just in case you were interested ). My mindless body schlepps of to work and the largest muscle of my body casually makes its way to join me, whenever it feels most inclined.
This particular early morning start was bamboozlingly unusual, for the life of me i could not abstain myself from becoming whole mindedly infatuated with meat.
Controversial thoughts coming from me, a well know abdicater of the fruit and vegetable party, alarmed and shocked i tried to shake these flesh urges off, instead picturing winter abundances of chestnuts, ceps and porcinis, it was no good, my vegetable feeble soul gave in to the creeping meat- like drug that was to infect my body but at the same time make me crave it all the more.
Unable to abandon my work and fulfill my meat - lust driven thoughts, my head became swamped with all of the delectable juiciness of what i could prepare and artfully craft to harbour my passionate needs.
Slow roasted lamb shanks with a subtle minty gravy, whole luscious duck served with a piquant cherry chutney, moist chicken legs roughly torn apart to reveal the darker but ( as everyone knows ) tastier pieces of joint, salty baked ham shimmering and singing to you with all of its sweet and smokey goodness ( i could go on, but i fear i may be in danger of having a meat - lapse ).
Effervescently sizzling away at the back burner of my stove like mind was one particular plate of goodness that would not prize its greasy fingers out of my brain - The Burger.
I feel it is my own fault, having shunned the popular BBQ favourite throughout the summer instead favouring the likes of rolled loins of stuffed pork and spice embedded fish, deeming the humble burger too boring and unimaginative. Now it has hunted me down and got me by the throat forcing itself upon me, and given my sudden urges I'm in no position but to fully sacrifice myself to it.
Having jostled with home made beef burgers in the past i was aware of the basics - breadcrumbs and egg to help bind the meat and keep it from falling apart, salt and pepper for seasoning, herbs to taste etc etc,
but i was looking for something else, i wanted this masterpiece to be a complete meat feast as it were, i wanted that rouged dark exterior,i longed a medium rosy red rareness and i craved for a smokey intense meat quenching succulence that would be hard to replace.
These wantings helped me to come to the decision to use coarsely chopped full fat ( no room for lean and mean here ) beef mince added with the gamey richness of some minced venison shoulder with only the simple additions of two tablespoons of water ( to help keep it mouth wateringly moist ), salt and pepper, a small handful of chopped parsley and two tablespoons of wholemeal breadcrumbs.
All that is left to say is i can only offer my sincerest apologies to the mighty burger, not only did it whole- hearted - ly accomplish to fill my passionate desires but i believe that it has awakened a bone gnawing, tendon tearing meat monster inside of me ( much to R's delight ).
' Real Meat Beefburgers'
500g best quality minced beef - under no uncertain terms is this to be lean or ' fat free'
500g minced venison
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons breadcrumbs
Finely chopped shallot and 1 clove of chopped garlic
1 large tablespoon chopped flat parsley
Salt pepper
In a pan gently soften the chopped shallot and garlic until soft. Leave until cooled.
In a large bowl add the rest of your ingredients along with the onion and garlic and lovingly mix your ingredients together without being too vigorous.
Take small handfuls of the mixture and form into small flattened circles, once all the meat is used up place all of the formed patty's into the fridge and leave to rest for at least 1/2 an hour.
When ready to cook place your griddle pan onto a high heat and take your burgers out of the fridge.
When the pan is hot enough rub a little oil onto your burgers and place a thumb print in the middle of one side of your burgers ( to stop them blowing up ).
Place the burgers on the griddle and grill for 4 minutes on one side and 6 on the other ( for medium rare ), don't be tempted to turn your burgers too early otherwise you wont get that textured crunchy exterior.
Once cooked rest of a piece of kitchen towel whilst your organise your other ingredients to make your perfect burger.
For us this had to include toasted baps, freshly sliced tomato, a few crispy garnishes of robust radicchio,a thinly sliced piece of jarlsburg, a slathering of tomato sauce and the pies de resistance had to be the two crackingly crunchy slices of smoked bacon.
Pickles and relishes bring up a slight nauseous feeling in me. Disillusioned memories of my first prized happy meal when a child of 6 were shattered when i bit into the waif of cardboard type beef burger and discovered what can only be described as acid mixture of plant food and lino slopped on the upper half of my flat bap. Scarred and etched in my memory with a blunt knife, i have never been able to return.
Although R thinks being able to arise so early is one of my special talents ( of which i have many ), I simply feel that whilst i may be able to haul my heavily pyjama clad behind out of the well plumped and padded perfectly tempered bed, my inapt brain stays comfortably nestled on the pillows that within half an hour of my alarm startling me, just positioned perfectly ( bottom one slightly above the top one - just in case you were interested ). My mindless body schlepps of to work and the largest muscle of my body casually makes its way to join me, whenever it feels most inclined.
This particular early morning start was bamboozlingly unusual, for the life of me i could not abstain myself from becoming whole mindedly infatuated with meat.
Controversial thoughts coming from me, a well know abdicater of the fruit and vegetable party, alarmed and shocked i tried to shake these flesh urges off, instead picturing winter abundances of chestnuts, ceps and porcinis, it was no good, my vegetable feeble soul gave in to the creeping meat- like drug that was to infect my body but at the same time make me crave it all the more.
Unable to abandon my work and fulfill my meat - lust driven thoughts, my head became swamped with all of the delectable juiciness of what i could prepare and artfully craft to harbour my passionate needs.
Slow roasted lamb shanks with a subtle minty gravy, whole luscious duck served with a piquant cherry chutney, moist chicken legs roughly torn apart to reveal the darker but ( as everyone knows ) tastier pieces of joint, salty baked ham shimmering and singing to you with all of its sweet and smokey goodness ( i could go on, but i fear i may be in danger of having a meat - lapse ).
Effervescently sizzling away at the back burner of my stove like mind was one particular plate of goodness that would not prize its greasy fingers out of my brain - The Burger.
I feel it is my own fault, having shunned the popular BBQ favourite throughout the summer instead favouring the likes of rolled loins of stuffed pork and spice embedded fish, deeming the humble burger too boring and unimaginative. Now it has hunted me down and got me by the throat forcing itself upon me, and given my sudden urges I'm in no position but to fully sacrifice myself to it.
but i was looking for something else, i wanted this masterpiece to be a complete meat feast as it were, i wanted that rouged dark exterior,i longed a medium rosy red rareness and i craved for a smokey intense meat quenching succulence that would be hard to replace.
These wantings helped me to come to the decision to use coarsely chopped full fat ( no room for lean and mean here ) beef mince added with the gamey richness of some minced venison shoulder with only the simple additions of two tablespoons of water ( to help keep it mouth wateringly moist ), salt and pepper, a small handful of chopped parsley and two tablespoons of wholemeal breadcrumbs.
All that is left to say is i can only offer my sincerest apologies to the mighty burger, not only did it whole- hearted - ly accomplish to fill my passionate desires but i believe that it has awakened a bone gnawing, tendon tearing meat monster inside of me ( much to R's delight ).
' Real Meat Beefburgers'
500g best quality minced beef - under no uncertain terms is this to be lean or ' fat free'
500g minced venison
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons breadcrumbs
Finely chopped shallot and 1 clove of chopped garlic
1 large tablespoon chopped flat parsley
Salt pepper
In a pan gently soften the chopped shallot and garlic until soft. Leave until cooled.
In a large bowl add the rest of your ingredients along with the onion and garlic and lovingly mix your ingredients together without being too vigorous.
Take small handfuls of the mixture and form into small flattened circles, once all the meat is used up place all of the formed patty's into the fridge and leave to rest for at least 1/2 an hour.
When ready to cook place your griddle pan onto a high heat and take your burgers out of the fridge.
When the pan is hot enough rub a little oil onto your burgers and place a thumb print in the middle of one side of your burgers ( to stop them blowing up ).
Place the burgers on the griddle and grill for 4 minutes on one side and 6 on the other ( for medium rare ), don't be tempted to turn your burgers too early otherwise you wont get that textured crunchy exterior.
Once cooked rest of a piece of kitchen towel whilst your organise your other ingredients to make your perfect burger.
For us this had to include toasted baps, freshly sliced tomato, a few crispy garnishes of robust radicchio,a thinly sliced piece of jarlsburg, a slathering of tomato sauce and the pies de resistance had to be the two crackingly crunchy slices of smoked bacon.
Pickles and relishes bring up a slight nauseous feeling in me. Disillusioned memories of my first prized happy meal when a child of 6 were shattered when i bit into the waif of cardboard type beef burger and discovered what can only be described as acid mixture of plant food and lino slopped on the upper half of my flat bap. Scarred and etched in my memory with a blunt knife, i have never been able to return.
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